It's Been a While Since I've Talked to God

How’s it going God?  Still sitting high atop your throne in Heaven?  Am I too far off in comparing you to the size of the Abraham Lincoln in D.C.’s Lincoln Memorial?  The scriptures describe you as indeed sitting atop a throne, but does it even make sense to talk about you having a physical size?  You must, of course, if there’s actually a throne that exists for you to sit on, unless it’s all purely symbolic.  Twenty-four elders wouldn’t circle around emptiness, would they?  Four creatures covered in eyes wouldn’t square around emptiness, singing, would they?

But is your presence much more spiritual, even in Heaven, than physical?  What’s it like to look down into the crystal lake that stretches across Heaven’s floor from the legs of your throne?  Do you ever get self-conscious about your reflection?  Do we ever make you laugh down here, trying so hard to find meaning in all the most bizarre and obscure ways the world has ever known?  Do you ever cosmically juxtapose situations in our lives in order to create irony to keep us thinking?  Why is it that every time I think about someone for the first time in four months I either run into them in person or they try to communicate with me the next day?  There’s no way I’m going to believe this is just coincidence.  You’re doing something.  There’s some grandscale formula you’ve implemented that’s just far too complex for us to comprehend.  Just as it’s easier for us to get caught up in the wrong thing and to fall if everyone around us is doing it, just as it’s easier for raindrops to fall if they meet, link and come together, their collective weight, our collective weight will bring us down faster, perhaps we’re all part of some huge cosmic experiment.  What gets caught in an avalanche?  Everything but some trees, rooted so deeply and firmly down in the ground that the tumultuous rupture of gushing snow and mud can’t pull them out. 

The symbolism is obvious, so much so that it’s a little boring!

When we die, do we receive any sort of scorecard?  "You ran 34 red lights; you said the word "optometrist" 71 times; you gave 3,985 hi-fives..."  Is this some great misconception I’ve just fetishized?  Perhaps we will have all of our sins read aloud to us at the pearly gates – or will we instead be shown a replay of our lives?  Would it be so crazy for my friends to look up into the heavenly cosmic cameras and wave every once in a while, for the video they’ll be watching once they leave this Earth? 

Do you have a sense of humor, God?  Can I make you laugh?