Saturday, June 25, 2011

What to Do if You Think the Girl in the Car Next to You is Dead

1) Remain calm.  

2) If her vehicle is still moving, gently nudge it with your vehicle so as to push her off the road; if her foot still lays on the accelerator after the brain aneurism (or whatever may have been the cause of her death), her still-moving vehicle has the potential to cause massive damage, perhaps a multi-car pileup.  This is what we want to avoid.

3) If her vehicle is parked, then with poise and rationality, you may approach the vehicle to check and see.  You could concoct some sort of collapsible backup question in case you realize she is actually still alive -- the situation might become awkward otherwise -- like "Hi, can you tell me how to get to the mall?"

4) If you have her vehicle at a stationary point, and you are certain that she has, indeed, passed away, then you should take a minute to wrap your mind around the temporal nature of all life on this planet.  She was once born just like you or me, probably with a set of vital organs that includes lungs, heart, brain, intestines, liver and all the other organs that you also have.  She probably meant a lot to a select few people in this world; maybe some gentleman or other had at one point considered her for a potential wife, someone to live out the rest of his days with.  These people will probably miss her very deeply.

5) After this, the responsible and sensible thing to do would be to call an ambulance; get the attention of professionals who deal with the deceased on a regular basis, that they might take her to a place where perhaps they could determine the exact cause of death -- though this won't bring her back, the family and/or friends might find the information interesting. 

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